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Life & Death

A Cycle that all of us had experienced. To us that are still living, death is always ahead of us. We will never know when, where or how it will come to us but we all going there.

If there is life there is always death. Just like positive and negative. It's a push and pull, yin and yang.

All of us who experienced losing someone we loved understand how painful it can be. We will miss them and they will always be with us wherever we go. All we can do is remember and cherish the time we spent with them until our time will come and we will be able to see them again.

To my Tiyo (Uncle) Henio, you will be missed. I can still remember your voice from the last time we've talked (on the phone). You told me to be good and be happy. Now I am telling you to be happy with Him. Please give Lola and Lolo a hug and kisses for me. And please tell them how much I missed them. You will always be part of who I am today.

To Ate Jacque, Joy, Jojo, Ma Elesia and the whole family: my deepest condolences ....

Winter Begins

Feeling depressed yesterday.

Did nothing.

No motivation.

Night came. Went for a drive.

Wasted gas. Just seen the lights.

Felt more lonesome. Wishing we can be somewhere else.

Mind drifting.

Green trees and mountains.

Warm blue clear sky.

It's the season that I hate. The cold and the feeling of inclosure.

How long will this last? One week? I wish...

Oh well, life is not always what we wanted. So get up and keep moving.

This white thingy that stays on the ground for days will stay for a while. :(

Today, another same day.

Not really... it's the start of the WINTER!!!!

Back early from Philippines...

We got back two days ago... its been wonderful seeing my friends "not all :(" and family. Garry got sick and we decided to go home. It's still a wonderful vacation. The important part is seeing my parents/family and spending few days with them. Though I still have a lot of things that I wanted to do but its ok. I always believe that things happen for a reason. I made sure that Garry was able to do one of his "to do list" and that is to see a cock fighting.

He was not able to plant rice or use the tractor but he was able to see the rice field LOL! I want to say thanks to my friends for helping us and for being there all time and for my family for the support and love. Love you all. Just wish we can spend more time. But hey there is always a next time.

Our Journey Home from Home

Hmmm!! this seems to be a weird title. But that's what this post is.

Anyway, Its been a great week. Finally were able to fly (in a plane of course ;0). Left Sunday afternoon from Buffalo to JKF (New York City), from JFK to Anchorage Alaska, to Taipei, to Manila and finally CEBU. Our flight from JFK with China Airlines was delayed for 1 hour. We were hoping they can make up for the delayed but unfortunately they did not and we arrived in Manila 1 hour late. We went to claim our baggage but it took us at least 30 minutes before we were out and about to change Plane to Cebu. By the time we were in the taxi did I realized that the terminal 3 for Cebu Pacific Airline was far and we paid the taxi about 200 pesos just to find out that we missed our flight. The teller told us We're just 5 minutes late and advised us to have our ticket reschedule and referred us to another teller. To make the it short the lady was very polite and it helped me a lot not to be rude (been in the plane for about 24 hrs and I am tired). We have to pay about 5000,00 pesos and this makes me sad. This is one disadvantages here in our own country. Don't get me wrong. I will always love it here but sometimes business people get all too carried away. They will take money out of you as long as they can. I understand about having to pay for rescheduling the flight but was just hoping for a little less. Anyway, Garry was shocked and started asking the poor girl a lot of questions. He was tired and frustrated so I asked him to back off stay at the back and save his frustrations for China Airlines people. After taking care of the ticket and ready to board the place we called my friends that are going to pick us up (Thanks to Val, Cristy and Lorraine) and told them that we will be an hour late.

All the flights was not that good except Jet Blue Air for Buffalo to JFK. China Airlines sucks big time. They were late and the food was bad. Oh well, the important thing is we arrived safe.

December 2, 2009: We are scheduled to leave Cebu and go home (province where my parents and family is) but can't go because Garry was sick. The next day (December 3) same thing happen and finally he let me takes him to a doctor. Doctor said his body was just trying to adjust to the new environment. Advised us to stay 2 more days before boarding a ship. Garry stayed in bed (at hotel) for 2 days. My mother told us to just go back without seeing them because she is scared about Garry's health LOL!!! We don't want anybody to worry so Garry and I decided not to tell his Mom and the family.

December 6: Finally!! We are off to the province. Garry is doing great now. So excited and wanted to just rest and inhale a fresh air. Its about 3 hours trip in a small ship. In there, no Internet and far away from the city. All you can hear is birds and some chicken hehehe.... I will try be online at least once a week. I said "I will try" :)

My Thoughts

Sometimes we got too carried away with what or how we feel. Sometimes when somebody hurts you (physically or emotionally) you tend to tell yourself that you will get even one of these days, it's more like "an eye for an eye". But in feeling that way we also fail to realize that we are hurting ourself.

We meet different people in our daily life, and there is always a reason why. You may not know what/why right away but things happen for a reason. These people come and go but the lessons and impact they left will always be there.

Sometimes, its hard to let go and it will keep you from moving on. You will always look back and once again it will refresh the memories (the hurt and all some unanswered questions). But think if you let go and make amend? and when I say "amend" I mean a real/sincere one... what will happen? Do you think you still feel bad, sad, mad, or hurt? I don't think so.. maybe you will be glad that it is over and glad that you made things right before its too late.

Life is too short. You never know when is your time to go. Me? I don't know.. may be after I'm done writing this? maybe tomorrow? next day? who knows? I witnessed something (or may I say an event).. That event makes me sad and think that things could have been different if pride, stubbornness or being bullheaded was was set aside. That same event makes me think about things in my life. Everyone of us has pride or else we are no better than a robot. It's one of the characteristic that makes us a human being. The only difference is how we let pride dominate our life. Sometimes we are unaware that pride is telling us what to do. It is hard to swallow our pride. And it is always hard to forgive and forget. You might say that you have forgiven somebody, but ask yourself "did you really?". Nobody is perfect or else we would be living in a very boring world. I AM NOT PERFECT... that is one of my all time motto's. I might have done something wrong or bad that I did not even know about. I might have hurt people without knowing I did. I don't know...... I am only human and I tend to make mistakes.

Think about it. It is not yet too late. Don't wait and stop telling yourself that there is still tomorrow. Today might be your only chance and tomorrow might be too late.

So to all my friends and everyone whom I've known, sorry if ever I said or did something to hurt you. Sorry for whatever I did. And let us live life to its fullest and be happy for what we have. Thank you all for being part of who I am now and for who I will be.

Love and Peace

Why do people cheat?

Talked with my distant cousin online and I found out he is having an affair. Yes! you heard me right. He is married with small kids and while working abroad he have a girlfriend. I saw it with my own eyes (in a webcam). We did not talked for long. I cut it short and don't want to talk to him.

I hate to think that people just forget about love, respect and loyalty. When you got married you are supposed to be together forever. You exchanged vows you promised to be together for better or worst in sickness and health. You promised to honor, respect and be loyal with each other. But why do people still cheat? I am mad, furious and disappointed. I don't know what I will do if this will happen to me (being cheated). Don't tell me that things happen because he is away from his wife. Or what people say "its a man thing". I hate it and I will always hate that idea.

I am sorry about this post. Just want to let it out my chest and this is the perfect place for me and of course I told my husband but its not enough. I don't know if I will tell somebody so his wife will be aware of? Or should I just keep quite and hope that maybe this is just a fling? But fling or not he is still a cheater. Why did he let me see it in the first place? Why would he put me in this situation? Should I just shrug it off and say its none of my business? We are not that close anyway. He popped up out of nowhere and told me he is "XXXX younger brother" which happens to be my friend. All I can remember of him is a young boy running around their house. I am having a headache. GRRRRRR!!!! :(:(:(